jubilee =D

The morning revival for these past 2 weeks have been "The Jubilee". Yet, ironically, people are going through the hardest, and the most difficult times. Yes, that's right. Outwardly, it's really a disaster. Our outward situation will just be the way it horribly has been, or even,.. worse! (: But i so enjoyed that we have another realm we can immediately enter into, and it's a matter of whether we're willing or not.
Past weeks I've been very stubborn, very bitter, very miserable, very opinionated, and really strong in self.
1) Wanted the photojournalism internship, but got into the New Media department.
2) and just many other little things that didn't happen.
but then, again, as i mused upon my bitterness, i realized i haven't asked myself ..
WHAT THE LORD HAS DONE.
and then when i look back, i realized maybe he purposed something else in my other internship.
aparently, a dear brother and yongjae are both in this department.
even though i really just want to be in Photojournalism and heck about other, but i realized that these few weeks of training has made me closer to my friends in a very normal and appropriate way. The world of journalism is very complicated and very 'wordly'. And I am VERY glad, VERY very glad, to have this brother in this with me cus it brings me back to the Lord when I get too into my work. (knw wht i mean? it's like.. you feel comforted)
Then, yongjae. I just hope through this, the brother might be able to help me bring yongjae into the churchlife. And, through this opportunity, Yongjae and I developed a real friendship. It's not like those friendship in quotation marks, but i really meant, friendship.
I care for yongjae in a way God cares for him, and I really want him to know the Lord.
(:

oh lord. just so exposed.
all these while i've been focusing on WHAT HE HAS NOT DONE IN and FOR ME.
but what about WHAT HE HAS DONE.

O how shallow i've been.
indeed.

Today, i just had the best time releasing the Christ prisoned inside of me.
I wanted to break from my cycle of poverty, and enter into the RICHES OF CHRIST!
Enter into that land flowing with milk and honey.
O Lord Jesus!! O Lord Jesus. OH LORD JESUS. How we need to really CALL OH LORD JESUS.
LORD SAVE US.
Save us from the bondages of this world, particularly our anxiety.

I never really realize what a sinner I was, until I realized again, today, that Anxiety itself, is a sin.
What a wretched man I am, a terrible sinner.
OH LORD HOW WE NEED YOUR DYNAMIC SALVATION.
seriously.
Don't we all sin? Aren't we all terrible sinners?
Sinning all the time as we start getting anxious over one thing and another.
Oh Lord.
Brother Dick said ".. a new pimple" (HAHA)
and yea, that's right. we humans are anxious over EVERYTHING.

school, work, family, friends, health, resume, future, finance, world situation, election, ...

indeed, just everything else. we are worry freaks! hahar.
Oh lord forgive us.

Today, one thing i really enjoyed is that His WILL for us, is for us to
1) always rejoice
2) unceasingly pray
3) in everything give thanks

amen. Oh Lord Jesuuuusssss. OH LORD JESUS! We Love You.
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Lord Jesus. dear friends. i've been bothered by something recently.
i think im growing feelings for somebody, but i need you to pray for me (:
cus i don't want to dwell in this emotion if he is not the one.
know what i mean? )':
and plus, i don't see him at all, except randomly.
but in those random times that we met, it was really so heart-melting.
maybe it's just me. you know how i melt for nice people, so easily xD
haha. no brainers. lol. well, for brothers, though..
cus you know how i always hold a special room for brothers (:
because they are those separated from the world, loving the Lord, going through the same Christian Fever as I am, experiencing the cleansing of leprosy, and the healing of our sight.
Oh whee~~! What vision so in unison.
How can I not fall for a brother if he's so good to me?
How can you not fall for the Lord when he's just oh so good to you? (:
hee.
Nothing is happening now. But what's happening IS that I,.. I dwell in this thought.
It's not .. okay ):
I do not want to be in this position. at all.
because it's so tiring,.. like how "I live my life ON his text, ON his call, ON his response"
(not like i'm living like that now, cus there's NOTHING going on) haha.
cus again, it's just.. random times.
so.. in a nutshell,
i'm living on OUR random times.

everyday waiting for a 'Random' is really hard, dude.
xP

so, if you remember me sometimes, just mention me in your prayers yea? (=
i love you all.
thank you!